Sometimes you need to quietly yell ‘FUCK OFFFFFFF’ into the fridge…

Bobbi woke up at 03:30 chatting away to herself. I gave her a cuddle and realised that her onsie was wet so threw the duvet over Dans face before turning the light on so I wouldn’t wake him.

As soon as I’d flipped the switch I realised that it was about as helpful as throwing a sheet of A4 over his face as it was the summer duvet (sorry Dan)
After changing her she was wide awake and singing away (so she could be heard from space) 

I relented and we had to get up so she could play. She finally decided to go back to sleep at 05:30 so I managed to catch half an hours sleep before Nina got up for the day. 

Dan went out to work. 

While I was making breakfast Nina trotted through saying ‘Bobbi needs changing mummy.’ I left it as it hadn’t been long since I’d done it last – I’ll do it after breakfast, I told myself. 5 minutes later she came and said it again so I went to check the situation. 

I thought she’d been quiet.

She’d stripped Bobbi naked – undone the nappy and left her kicking around in a pile of her own shit.  It was, in fact – a shituation.

Needless to say I’ve been a total ‘mombie’ all day. 

I ignored the urge to sit in with Bobbi and feel sorry for myself, choosing instead to grace the usual Monday group ‘Social babies’. 

I got soaked on the way there as its the first day of summer so of course it was lashing it down.

I don’t think I was particularly sociable but am glad I went as it was lovely to have a coffee and a chat with friends. 

I got soaked on the way back as its the first day of summer so of course it was lashing it down.

We went to Aldi to do the shop as we’re a bit old mother Hubbard at the moment and I didn’t think shrugging at Dan and saying ‘fucked if I know, but I did have a lovely nap earlier’ would suffice as an answer when Dan came home from work and asked ‘what’s for dinner.’

I got soaked on the way there as its the first day of summer so of course it was lashing it down.

Some utter cockwomble had left the baby trolleys out in the rain so they were soaking. I had to go back to the car (getting rained on more in the process) to get the spare baby grow from the car, then went back to wipe the trolley with it (getting rained on more in the process) to find that actually, the baby grow had the absorbent power of a fucking cat. 

Luckily a kind passer by took pity on me and jumped in with some kitchen roll to save the day. 

FINALY we managed to get in the shop. 

I was on fire.

I was in, then I was out.

BOOM. Shopping. Done.

We went back to the car with the trolley full of shopping.

I got soaked on the way there as its the first day of summer so of course it was lashing it down.

Loaded Bobbi and the shopping into the car then went to return the trolley (getting rained on more in the process) – don’t judge me. You’ve all done it.

There are two of these trolleys at our local Aldi and the other one was in use, when I got back to the trolley park some utter bell end had locked their bike up right in the way of where I needed to be. 

Of course all the trolleys have different coin key thingeys. 

I tried them all.

None of them fucking fit.

I pushed the trolley away saying to myself ‘it’s only a quid. Fuck it!’

I went back to the car (carrying a gargantuan load of rage – getting rained on more in the process)

Went home, put the shopping away and had some lunch.

When I sat down I realised how tired I am. I’m exhausted. Totally burned out.

The stresses of money (lack of), keeping the girls happy, trying (and failing half the time) to keep Dan happy I literally make no time for myself. 

I realise that I’ve become nothing more than a mum and a crappy wife. 

I’ve cried 4 times already and it’s 2pm.

This mum’ing malarkey is fucking hard.

I realised that a lot of my friends are feeling the same way.

It’s easier said than done but I (like so many other mums I know) need to give myself a break. 

I’m going to go for a bath tonight. 

Read some of a book.

Chill the FUCK out.

I can’t actually remember the last time I did this! 

I’m also going to ‘check back in’ on my marriage. Make more of an effort in general and spend more time chasing laughs. 

I’m sure it’s not meant to be this hard, however this shitty day ended in a massive triumph. I managed to get both girls asleep by 19:30 – BOOM ???


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