Why 05:30 – EVERYDAY ?

After the fiasco that was yesterday morning (hairgate) we went on to have a lovely day. We were those parents that had a nearly three year old physically restrained in the pram all day as we were mentally broken from getting ready to actually leave the house.  It was lovely, the sun shone all day, […]

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A pretty standard Saturday…

Today started off so well, Dan took the girls downstairs and let me have a wonderful lay in. For a few hours.  It was magical. Sunshine. Lollipops. Rainbows. Dawn chorus. Lovely. Then Nina started. This morning she has decided that she no longer wishes to have a sibling and has decided to just kill Bobbi […]

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A teddy bears picnic

Today we decided to go on a picnic. We do this often (around three times a week if the weathers nice). Usually under our own steam to carefully selected venues where I can look after the girls without turning in to a raving fucking lunatic.  This was a badly planned nightmare. Some bright spark had […]

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One vs two – the coffee date (if more just add hi-jinx)

One: if you arrive first, Buy a drink and find somewhere to sit.  Two: if you arrive first get a drink (coffee, black, STRONG [hooked up intravenously]) find somewhere to sit, then be forced under the toddler glare of ‘if you don’t do this that means you don’t really love me’, into performing ‘super cool […]

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Birthdays with children can be interesting. We used to chill out and have a ‘lay in’, amble on out somewhere for breakfast etc. Not this morning. This morning Nina started shouting at us at about 5am. When I looked at her I couldn’t help but notice her pillow and blanket combo neatly laid out beside […]

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So you’ve decided to have a baby? 

Congratulations on deciding to have a baby. You will, no doubt end up buying enough crap to raise an army. It’s impossible to see baby stuff when you’re expecting a baby and not buy something – then something to go with it, and oooh look, a matching hat!! You’ll second guess and doubt yourself at […]

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Leaving the house with two little kids…

Once the toddler has touched you awake with cold feet on your back, relent and heave yourself out of bed.  Collect the baby (if not already attached) and head down stairs. Ask the toddler what they want for breakfast – follow their instructions. Today’s selection was monkey cereal (coco pops – it’s the same nearly […]

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Why have you put potato in your ear child? 

After my Wonderwoman grass cutting triumph yesterday I did not get the nap I had planned. Instead Bobbi insisted on being held so she could randomly slap me and wriggle as if she wanted to be put down – but every time I tried she cried like the floor was made of molten lava. It’s […]

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I cut the grass ??

There were four in the bed again last night. I don’t know what’s going on with Nina at the moment but she has decided that she can’t possibly sleep alone anymore.  She’d rather top and tail with me. (Throw an extra blanket over me [thanks for thinking of me kid, but I’m already cooking] and […]

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A letter to my tired self

Dear tired self, It’s been a long year, but the last week feels like the longest.  Sleep has been nigh on non existent and the children have been really full on.  A twoligan who has developed a dickish tendency to ignore everything you say whilst running around throwing toys all over the place, as if […]

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