A rant partly aimed at what a total bunch of wankers they are at cadburys.

I took the girls to the park this afternoon to meet our friends where we had a picnic.

Sadly I’m a twat and squashed the sammidges as I stuffed the bag under the pram AGAIN as the fucking thing kept falling out on the walk from the car to the playground (around 100m that took an eternity as I had the bright idea to let Nina bring her scooter) 

Once we FINALLY arrived in the playground (she can’t steer the scooter and struggled to negotiate the sodding thing down a deceptively steep slant) we managed to play on the slides and yapped for a couple of hours without getting rained on.

I didn’t hear ‘mummy what’re you doing?’ Once. 

I didn’t get touched by any dollies.

Nina tired herself out beautifully and a lovely time was had by all.

My ears were hearing the BEST sound in the world by 19:15 – two snoring girls. #Winning. 

Except that today we made the fatal error of taking some photos and I’m now totally depressed as I know how badly in denial I’ve been. #losing.

No one ever takes photos of me and I think it’s because they know I’ll be pissed right off when I see them.

In a world of well angled selfies and a million filters, it can be too easy to hide our true selves and feelings away from the world. 

I’ve clearly been baking with the toddler too often – is it totally wrong to blame her for the size of me?

Ok so I can’t blame her so I’ll blame that bunch of absolute bastards at Cadburys – Fuckers. 

I suppose I should be honest and say I didn’t get this figure by starving myself. 

Two babies in just over two years = on a par with burning the house down – I’m fucking ruined.

They’re totally worth it of course but whoever said breast feeding makes you lose weight was a liar ??

I must sort myself out and I know I will but can’t help feeling like a dementor about it from time to time. 

But tonight – Doombar.

I’m going to enjoy the weekend with my family and start sorting myself out on Monday. Again. But for real this time. I promise ??

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