Last night the girls were up until 10:30 – as much as I love them, I’m ready for them to go to bed after in the night garden. Immediately. Some days I could stand at the bottom of the stairs smiling and waving ‘see ya!’.

Bobbi wanted to attach herself to me and create a super nova. 

Nina wanted to thrash about on the couch next to me.

Dan got the big fan out, poured me a beer and filled a basin with cold water for me to soak my feet in. (Thanks Dan ?)

I managed to boob Bobbi to sleep and we went up to bed. I had to get in with Nina which pleased Dan no end as he was after some ‘attention’. He didn’t complain but his back looked pissed off as he walked to our room. 

I woke up back in our bed with Bobbi attached so obviously I got up at some point – I must have stumbled blindly through to the nursery and floated us back to my room – without waking up.

I have prepared three people for the day including myself this morning and I can’t recall any of it. 

Fuck knows what is going on with my hair – I had plaits in yesterday so am now sporting a frizzy lions main. It’s untameable. 

After attempting to banish the ‘scarecrow’ look, We had to drive Nina to school as we were running late. There was a negotiation involving a small plastic whale that wasn’t going to school as it’d get lost. 

We made it to the nursery – sans plastic whale (that’s a win. A small one but I’m taking the victories where I can)

Having noticed that my car was a massive pile of ‘tree cow’ shit on wheels, I decided to go and get it cleaned by the nice Eastern Europeans at Asda (because I’m far too lazy to do it myself)

Bobbi and I walked away to ‘THIS is a silver service?!’ – they clearly thought I was taking the absolute piss paying only a tenner to get my shed cleaned. 

I held my head high and power walked away anyway.

We went and bought bbq gubbins as its sunny again. On our way around Asda I was offered a strangers unsolicited opinion on our ring sling ‘oh that looks sooooooo uncomfortable!’ – Bobbi was sleeping in it peacefully. I smiled as I mentally punched her in the face. (FUCK YOU LADY ??)

I’m hoping for a peaceful night tonight so I might get Nina out in the garden later doing a rain dance to make it a bit more likely for humans to survive. 

I don’t think it’ll work. Send help ??

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