Parenting fails…

Last night after I went on a pilgrimage to find lighter fluid/fuel/wild fire, we lit the bbq – just before it started raining. Dan was out in the garden, top off, tongs in hand, umberella up ‘IM FUCKING DOING THIS!’ – he was determined. 

Then it really started pissing it down and he was forced to abort his mission. 

Once he’d dried off, he went to the Golden Arches, defeated, to pick up something vaguely resembling sustenance. 

While he was away the sun started beating down again. Fucking typical ??

After dinner, we watched the mind numbing garbage that is ‘In the Night Garden’.

I don’t understand it – does IgglePiggle represent a sleeping child? 

What’s the deal with his boat? What the holy hell is he doing out in the middle of the ocean on his own – at night?

We hardly ever see the wattingers – are they inside but hiding from their noise polluting, King of the hill, bastard neighbours from hell? (The Pontipines) 

Both the girls were sparko in no time so we had a lovely peaceful evening – we were in fear of the massive storms that were reportedly due as Nina would’ve shat a kitten, luckily, the weather folk were wrong ??

I checked out my sleep app (that’s right, an app that tells me how shit my sleep is) – I scored 4 hours of blissfully, uninterrupted kip last night! #winning

This morning I am stripping Ninas bed as after a hard days playing at nursery, she passed out before her bath and turned her bed into a sand cave ??

As I was running a bath for my swamp creatures, Bobbi started to squawk so I went to check on her to find this monstrosity – I have discovered that at some point she has ingested what looks like green play doh. What the collosal fuck do I do about this ?? 

#siblingledweaning #mummyblog 
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Diary of an imperfect mum


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