A teddy bears picnic

Today we decided to go on a picnic. We do this often (around three times a week if the weathers nice).

Usually under our own steam to carefully selected venues where I can look after the girls without turning in to a raving fucking lunatic. 

This was a badly planned nightmare. Some bright spark had decided to hire a random inflatable tent. All the children looked so excited while it was being blown up – thinking (understandably) it was a bouncy castle – they were gutted to learn that it was there ‘in case it rained’ – purely functional then. Great – kids love that ??

Nina kept running through it (there was an entrance either side) and as I don’t have X-Ray vision I had to throw Bobbi under my arm and follow her – about 20 times.

I’m sure she thought if she went through it enough times she’d end up in sodding Narnia ?

The rage got the better of me so we packed up and went across the road to the play ground. I poured myself a coffee and fed Bobbi knowing I wouldn’t have to chase after Nina with a boob hanging out looking like Waynetta Slob shouting ‘NINA COME BACK HERE (you little shit)’.

She’d demanded to be a princess this morning so was in her full on Cinerella costume which made her climbing a bit of an adrenaline sport – for me. 

I made the stupid rookey mistake of buying Nina ‘clip clop shoes’ – which she’s taken to stamping around in ALL DAY – even louder if I’m on the phone. It’s great. Also, she keeps randomly falling over in them. She’s asleep wearing them right now. I’ll attempt to remove them shortly.

Bobbi has decided to imitate Pob and make farty noises (and spit on whoever she happens to be looking at at the time) all the live long day. It’s delightful. 

Both of the girls are asleep, I’ve settled down with a cheeky beer. I can smell something organic coming from Bobbi’s direction. For fucks sake ???

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