Parent guilt…

It’s a well known fact that when children are born, they bring with them a shit tonne of guilt.

Here are a just a few examples…

You might eat something you like, have a hot bath or accidentally sniff booze whilst pregnant.

You might have had an epidural – you total pansy. Surely all you need is a couple of paracetamol and a stiff upper lip. 

You might have to have a c section – you know, to keep you and baby alive – selfish git.

You might choose, for whatever reason to use formula – clearly you’re the devil.

You might choose to breastfeed, therefore depriving other family members of the chance to feed the baby – you selfish arsehole.

You might offer a dummy and feel guilty about it.

You might not offer a dummy and feel guilty about it.

Six months on you haven’t lost the baby weight – you clearly have zero self control.

You might use prepackaged baby food, quietly wishing you had the time/will to make your own.

You might do baby led weaning – putting your baby in abject danger of course.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll play with your phone at the park. This is apparently frowned upon. I don’t believe in helicoptering. Children find friends at the park. Parents find Pokemon ?

When you have more than one at some point you’ll be forced to abandon the baby briefly to chase the toddler.

Using the tv as a baby sitter so you can wash the dishes etc. (Or have a waz in peace!)

Junk food for dinner – ever ?

At some point you’ll run out of milk and have to offer chocolate toast for breakfast instead of chocolate cereal. The shame.

If you yell at them ever.

If you throw away their artwork- even if it was a few lines and a squiggly thing resembling nothing. You’ll hate yourself.

If you won’t get them a dog even though they’re the best thing on the planet.

Your house isn’t Pinterest worthy.

Your toddler may or may not have learned a four letter word at 05:00 when you told the ‘kin cats to do one ?

We feel guilty for all of these things and many, many more, even though no one says anything about them – at all – it’s as if it’s preprogrammed.

I feel guilty for always writing about when I’m stressed but saying ‘I love my family and have had a great day’ – as lovely as it is – is totally vanilla (seriously I do love them though – they’re ace) so I share the guilt worthy moments – because I’m hoping its normal ??

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