Mummies are arseholes…

They are cave dwelling life wreckers with the annoying tendency to tidy things up – moving them to strange alien contraptions known in some circles as ‘wardrobes’ and ‘cupboards’.

They clean bathroom fixtures so that Daddies retinas are burned by the bright white and shiny metal lurking beneath the beard hair and toothpaste that have been placed there.

They lurk in dark corners coming out only to pick up clothes that have been strategically lobbed on the floor – Daddies don’t notice the missing clothes until three weeks later – ‘well it’s not where I left it’ – no shit Sherlock ??

A Daddy could stand directly in front of a wardrobe scratching his head, helplessly wondering where his tracksuit bottoms are (having not even considered opening a fucking drawer) with a harrowing look of despair etched on his face.

Sometimes mummies totally ruin daddies lives by having the audacity to suggest actually leaving the house to spend time with (dun dun dun) OTHER PEOPLE ?

Mummies are arseholes that think having someone else cook dinner and wash the dishes for a change is a great idea – they are wrong.This is not acceptable to Daddies. 

Some Daddies spend years perfecting their hermit skills, so they decide that they can ‘stick it to the man’ by refusing to integrate socially with anyone other than their nuclear family and work colleagues (they can’t escape those pesky work colleagues).

Mummies are selfish. All they have to do is look after the children, house and shopping while Daddies go out to their extreamly important jobs. Then cook dinner, wash the dishes, deal with the children while Daddies sit on their arses recovering from their incredibly long and hard day of being important, contributing to the economy.

Mummies have easy days of staying in the house doing fuck all all day, then expect to go to bed and just sleep. Mummies are fridged beings and totally ignorant to Daddies need for attention.

Mummies clearly need to up their game and stop taking the piss.

Sort it out mummies ??

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