They will look to you for stimulus. This usually means that you have to get involved with activities such as colouring, painting and hide and seek with much more enthusiasm than usual when after months of no sleep, you just want to lay in a dark room and be still like broccoli. Your little dictator will soon let you know if you’re not toeing the line.
Team a rainy day up with maternity leave induced poverty and you rule out the sanity saviour that is soft play – the holy grail of the rainy day.
A rainy day can bring out entirely the wrong side of your miniature bipolar creation. Oceans apart from the (occasionally) sweet, caring, helpful little darling you know they are capable of being – If you don’t comply with the toddler’s requests on a rainy day they tend to morph into loud, shouty, red faced tyrants who attempt to bring back the dead with their unearthly shrieks – in simpler terms – they become arseholes.
They aim to systematically destroy your house by getting every.single.last.fucking.toy out and purposely putting them in your way while throwing juice everywhere, creating some form of abstract art on your Laura Ashley wallpaper, then telling you ‘sorry Mummy, it’s not an accident’.
You will spend half an hour trying to explain to them that if they have a lovely sleep they’ll feel much better.
Your resident dependant short person will protest until the very last second. Do not be fooled. Persevere. They will pass out and you will have peace – unless you’re like me and also have a baby who will choose that precise moment to wake up ??
You will have to wake the toddler up from their nap against their will, secretly relishing the sweet revenge for all the times they have woken you up at the crack of dawn (every.single.day) thus shattering your peace (if you’ve been lucky enough to get any), as otherwise they won’t sleep at night.
You’ll have to pull out the big guns and don boots to go puddle jumping ??
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