A note to people who understand spelling and grammar.

I’m fairly sure pre-children me was relatively intelligent – not book smart – I’ve never been academic, but pre – children me knew about a lot of things.

When I think back I can recall being vaguely coherent, although I can’t be 100% sure, as my short term memory has been shot to shit over the last few years.

I think the sharp decline in my IQ may be loosely linked to the lack of sleep or silence I endure on a daily basis. This year alone I think I’ve only had two full nights sleep. I now have the intellectual abilities of a parsnip as I am both diurnal and nocturnal – I’m amazed that I still even have a reflection ?

I used to read actual books, other than the likes of ‘The Gruffalo’ and ‘Room on the Broom’ (and ‘Go the Fuck to Sleep’), but can’t find the time or the inclination now as I’m called upon to stick tails on mermaids, have tea parties in the play house or jump on the trampoline (much more relaxing surely).

I do know a lot now that I didn’t know then.

I know that Peppa pig is a spoilt arsehole, George is a whiney little shit, Mummy and Daddy pig are a pair of twats.

Mrs Rabbit is a work shy wazzock that keeps getting the sack for insubordination? Incompetency?

Macca Pacca needs to seek urgent medical advise for his severe anal prolapse ?

I know that a toddler can ignore you saying their name 1,000,000 times as if it was nothing but the wind, however, if you open a packet of crisps in the farthest point of the house from them, they’ll be there in a flash wanting to ‘share’.

I know that it is humanly possible for a person to talk – non stop – from the moment their eyes pop open in the morning, to the moment they pass out at night.

I started this blog as a form of therapy and to make an attempt at exercising my long redundant brain a bit.

Spelling and grammar have always been a weakness of mine, but since I started writing this I’ve noticed just how bad it really is. I’ve hardly used my brain for a year, realising the other day that I’ve only used a pen on a few occasions in that time to write in greetings cards. I’m amazed I’m still vaguely legible.

My message is to all the people who read my blog and quietly tut whilst shaking their heads.

Soz ??

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