A letter to the Facebook Machine.

Dear Facebook,

I give you wonderful, hilarious, totally unique content about my crappy, totally run of the mill life but you don’t share it with anyone.

I bring you pictures of my tired, haggard face to let other parents know they’re not alone in their struggle against their mini tyrants and you choose to keep me hidden.


(My tired face that you don’t want people to see.)

I (like so many others) use you to keep in touch with friends and family who live far away, but you want to sever our connection.

Your twatty, fancy bollock algorithm has decided that there’s just too much japery and talk from normal folk being banded about, so you hide all of my posts.

Why can’t Facebook USERS decide whether they want to see the tripe I write or not? WHY ZUCKERBERG? WHY?!

I’d personally like to see MORE funny posts about how shit people’s days have been with their arsehole toddlers and mischievous cats, in place of a million MLM posts but my news feed doesn’t reflect this. For some bat-shit-crazy reason you bombard me with these things that I don’t want to see. (No offence MLM’ers – I’m just not interested ?).

Pills and capsules macro
(Magical dog placenta pills that you want people to see.)

I’d like to see less pointless bullshit about z list celebs that I give zero fucks about – they’re there to make me feel SHIT about myself so I’ll buy stuff with money I don’t have.


(Shite I don’t want to see – why did you think I’d want to see crap about these people? I never show any interest in celebs? Who fucking cares about celeb couples from 16 years ago????)

I was under the impression that I was using a SOCIAL NETWORK but it seems it’s only social now if I want to pay.

I’m an impoverished mum of two who has just returned to work and has an enormous overdraft to deal with. Perhaps I’m too poor for Facebook?

Please stop being a gigantic, cockwomble bellend and let people see content from the pages they have chosen to like.

Ok? Thanks


Kind Regards
The Sleep Thief’s Mummy


Diary of an imperfect mum

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