A Typical Long Journey with the Kids

Going on a long journey as a family always starts as a stressy nightmare as we’ve spent at least half an hour running around, tripping over the kids, throwing things in the car, plumbing in TVs, making up flasks and sammidges (as we’re skint so ham and bread it is ??).


By the time we set off We are considering divorce, one kid is communicating their displeasure through the medium of song (unable to speak yet so it’s more like Chewbacca singing an Adele number) and the other one is just plain pissed off.


Before we’ve gone two miles we’ve eaten most of the food as we’re starving from preparing.

The smallest one made us want to self harm while stuck in traffic until eventually there was quiet. I had to use my phone to check the Sleep status as I didn’t want to anger the beast by looking directly at it.


10 minutes later it started again so we went to the services to wrestle and be shouted at for half an hour.

The older one tried to speak as we pulled away and me and dan simultaneously shhhhhh’d as we had the fear that the smaller one would wake up again – that would’ve totally ruined our lives.

During the six hour journey we were subjected to inaudible mumbling and random interjections such as ‘I WANT OUT’ and ‘ARE WE THERE YET’ – basically the child friendly version of ‘this is shit. I’m just going to open the door and jump out’.


Sadly, we were only at our designation (visiting family) for one whole day before we had to do the whole thing again.


When we set off we were told to ‘just leave me here. I want to live with Nana now’.

It was precious.

After 11 hours in the car over 48 hours I think we aged about 10 years. The m5 is shit but it was worth it to see our family: next time I’ll pack these ear defenders ??


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