How to make Fairy Bread

We recently discovered this little treat whilst on holiday in Padstow and the eldest has literally demanded it every single day since (it’s been two months).

A. Grab yourself a slice of bread. We use brown in an attempt to make it resemble something vaguely healthy.


B. Get some chocolate/hazelnut spread – I bought this nock off version as Aldi charge over a QUID extra for Nutella- I’m not made of money so I went for the cheap shit. The toddler doesn’t know the difference and it’s still got all the goodness of the nuts in it (I can pretend it’s wholesome – nuts are full of protein) as well as all the sweet crap that kids adore so much.


C. Sprinkles. You’ll need some. Hundreds and thousands are best, but we’ve ran out so are slumming it with generic ‘rainbow flakes’ that I found lurking in the back of the cupboard – they’re nearing their expiry date so winner, winner, they’ll get used as I’m a total airhead and keep forgetting to replenish vital supplies.


D. Cutting implimemts. Be careful not to injure yourself obviously. Safety first and all that. You don’t have to cut it into shapes but what’s life without a little whimsy.


Spread component B on to component A, then add component C, before cutting with component D.

Plate up and serve. Easy peasy.


While your overjoyed child beholds your amazing creation, thinking you are the coolest person in the world (you’ve elevated yourself to a godlike status with this ‘Super Yummy’ dish) you’ll be left in peace to clean up all the sodding sprinkles you dropped every-fucking-where during the production stage.


Voila. Your jacked up child will be bouncing off the walls at nursery/school/the grandparents while you enjoy peace and hot coffees at work. BOOM ??

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