Today Eddie the Elf (I’m aware of how incredibly original this name is – and I don’t care) left a sticker book for the girls.
Eddie is a stupid twat and covered himself in stickers.
Nina thought it’d be a great idea to follow suit by putting stickers all over her sister.
She also thought it’d be spiffing good fun to redecorate the house with stickers too, meaning I had the pleasure of scraping them off the floor.
What the fuck was I thinking. This was a terrible idea. The freaky little shit has been keeping an eye out from the curtain pole since breakfast.
The little wazzock is trotting back North as we speak to tell Santa that Nina was horrible to her sister for 10% of the day but totally redeemed herself by being great fun for the rest – dancing with Bobbi and making Mary Fucking Poppins Christmas Tree decorations with me.