Last night we went out AGAIN. The second weekend on the trot but as we knew we’d be drinking loads we (sensibly) saved the first swig for when we got to the party.
We arrived approximately half an hour before everyone else as we were so excited about getting out we gave zero shits about being unfashionable early – as we walked through the hotel doors – sporting massive ‘we’ve come out of the house on our own’ faces (with all the enthusiasm of a child walking through the gates of Disney World) – the reception staff gave us an ‘ Aw, they’ve got kids’ kind of smile as they directed us to the function room where we sat drinking our booze until our friends arrived.
During dinner (3 courses) I attempted to drink wine. I don’t understand how people drink this stuff. It is vile. I’m yet to find a wine I can drink without involuntarily trying to eat my own face and wondering how they get the cat to sit on the bottle.
I was happy to receive two pints of Guinness.
After dinner these guys came on (I’ve nicked this pic from Google as I was far too pissed to take a decent picture myself). Ultra 90’s were bloody brilliant, taking me back to my youth and making me dance for an age like a complete twat. Ive been talking like a man all day as I’ve damaged myself while screeching along with them. Deffo go and see them if you get the opportunity.
Dan got confused by the ‘chair tights’. They offended him – I’m not sure why. I blame cider.
He ended up wearing more lipstick than me. Not difficult as I’ve mastered the art of eating it anyway. My pasty – sweaty completion is the result of dancing like a complete twat.
After further drinks in my friends room, we decided to walk home as all the taxis were in an alternative universe. I’m so glad I had my beloved converse with me as when I attempted to squeeze my hooves back into my heels they burned like fire.
This is how much rum I drank. Much more than is medically advisable.
We had a full nights kip with no children beating the shit out of us. It was marvelous. I woke up sporting a couple of cauliflowers at 10:30 with only me and Dan in the bed – the last few days we have had Nina and Bobbi in too so this was a LUXURY!
Dan made breakfast again. I managed half of it but I was very glad of this as my stomach thought my throat had been cut when I woke up.
After picking the girls up and being told that for a few hours before giving up and passing out, Bobbi wanted everyone in Corby to know that she was displeased about us going out, I dragged Dan into town for a Babyccino. He shook violently and complained. A lot.
He stayed home while I took the girls to a kids party that was hotter than the actual gates of hell, where my hang over ripened before coming home for pizza, Christmas films and juice. Lovely, alcohol free juice.