Breaking News – Human-Beings Need Sleep To Live

A new study reveals that in order to survive, Human-Beings must sleep at some point during a twenty-four hour period – preferably for eight hours or more.

Whilst Professer Noshit Sherlock from the Institute of Stating the Obvious agreed that co-sleeping can be successful for some – attempting to achieve the recommended amount of quality sleep can be difficult whilst being head-butted in the face, suffocated and elbowed in the kidneys by a small child.

He also stated that people’s concentration levels could drop by as much as 80% as a direct result of not achieving the recommended amount of sleep every night, and that ones general wellbeing can be adversely affected by negative splits between the asleep/awake ratio.

New parents scoffed at the prospect – one japing ‘if you could tell my 6 month old, that would be magical.’

Established and un-named parent of two from Northamptonshire, said ‘I haven’t had more than five full nights sleep for nearly six years – I’m amazed I’m still breathing.

A dad from Corby stated – ‘I heard a joke about sleep once – no, I don’t get it either’.


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