Mum Code Names for Soft Play Centres

Experts at The League of Parental Councelling have advised any Mums frequenting soft play centres, should actively teach their children a code name to avoid any un-due stress or confusion.

For decades people going to indoor play areas have been forced to become saucer eyed, bat eared meercats every twenty seconds, when one or more children screech the word ‘MUMMY’.

A study ran by the Professional Parenting Stress Institute found that on average there are 20 children in these centres at any given time, meaning that there are statistically around fifteen Mums in attendance during a typical session.

Sociologist Jane Green said ‘soft play visits are such a needlessly stressful experience. The introduction of code names will make it so much easier for Mums to zone out on their phones or talk utter shit with their Mum friends, without having to figure out if it’s their kid shouting or not’.

One Mum said ‘It’s bad enough that the kids are jacked up off their faces after consuming their body weight in sugar, without having to physically inhale a boat load of coffee to stay focussed enough to react if it’s one of mine screaming’.

A mother of two from Corby said ‘life has became so much easier since I taught my children to use a code name for me. I only have to really get involved if I hear one of them wildly shouting ‘PTERODACTYLE!’ It’s great.’

Another person said ‘what a brilliant idea, I don’t know why this hasn’t been a thing at soft play centres since the beginning of time’.

You may also like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.