When imagining your future or planning your family, picturing your little darlings running around like compliant angels, playing beautifully, doing as they’re told in a beautiful serene house with long, white curtains that billow softly in the breeze, whilst you sit looking smug and calm, reading a book in a rocking chair, what you don’t ever envisage are those days where you actually dislike your children.
The days where you feel like they are going out of their way to ignore everything you say, purely to get a reaction. You can tell by the look on their defiant little faces.
When they constantly bang a wooden spoon off everything in sight.
The little shits.
The days where you have to make the same bed three times as the minutes your back is turned, the toddler jumps on it.
They’ll run (or crawl) around after you like little whirlwinds untidying everything as you tidy it.
You’ll feel like your baby is bullying you and your toddler is taking full advantage by stripping naked and drawing all over themselves two minutes before you try to get out of the house. Just as you’ve sorted that out, the baby will have a MASSIVE shit that involves a full costume change.
There’ll be days where you feel so touched out that having hair on your head and glasses on your face is irritating.
Everyone has these days but most people are too scared to admit it.
This does not mean you’re a bad mum – it means that you’re human.
On these days you may struggle to get showered or go outside – it doesn’t matter what you do or where you go, fresh air makes babies sleep and stops toddlers from becoming complete wazzocks.
Go to the park, or even just the supermarket – get out and make them smile – then they’ll make you feel like an arsehole.
Remember that tomorrow is a new day and today you can have booze ??