Last night, after dragging my weary body to bed at 10pm, I quickly fell into a happy sleep that was cut short by the youngest one – who hates sleep – as she decided that the party was happening at midnight – location : The Living Room – Population : Me. Fucking marvelous.
Up I got to dutifully collect her, after a brief attempt to trick her back to sleep we headed downstairs for tea and toast – she’s usually hungry so I decided that must be the problem.
Today she wanted to read all the books (mainly the [fucking] bear hunt) and quiz me about the meaning of life – why are we here? – complicated queries about the cosmos – ONLY KIDDING – of course she just spent three hours using me as a climbing frame whilst pulling my hair, kneeing me in the throat and shouting in my face.
Just as I thought it would never end she turned, put her head down and passed out.
YES!! I snuck up the stairs, placed her in her bed and tiptoed back to my room where I managed to crawl into bed and pass out without punching Dan.
I’m ace. A model of self restraint. A wizard ?